A first date is already full of pressure. How do you look? What does she think? Will she order the most expensive thing on the menu? Don’t blow it completely by saying the wrong thing. Even better, make time before the date to practice saying the right things. The goal is not to arrive at your date’s door with a rehearsed shtick. For the most part, it actually involves just being yourself.
Yes, this is one time you can use the actual real L word, “love.” Just don’t say this until the date is over and you’re saying good night…so it’s kind of like it’s not really the first date anymore because you’re planning for the next. This really lets a girl know that you had a good time, enjoyed her company and have intentions of doing it again. Women hate not knowing where they stand or what you’re thinking, so this makes everything clear. One caveat: Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Otherwise she’ll be out with a new guy in a month, telling him about you, while he says “He’s crazy!”
OK, so you’re not supposed to be talking about your exes on the first date. Granted. But in the awkward circumstance that the topic does come up, support your date. No matter what she tells you about her former love, your reply should be “He’s crazy.” He did something only a total loser would do? “He’s crazy.” He did something you would do, but that you don’t want her to know you would do? “He’s crazy.” He left her? He let her leave? “He’s crazy!” Yeah, you got the picture.
Now you’re catching on—women like to be appreciated for their abilities, too. There was a whole huge social movement built around this fact (called feminism, but don’t bring up that politically charged word on the first date unless you want to be crushed). So whether you take her to play pool or miniature golf, or even just witness her making an educated wine choice, be sure to let her know how well she did it.
Women don’t like to be valued just for their looks. They have bodies, yes, but they also have minds. So ask your girl her opinion on something. Engage her in a conversation about something you like. Then engage in a conversation about something she likes. When you both start connecting on an intellectual level about various topics, and she knows you think she’s smart, there’s no telling where it can lead.
No, not that L word. Telling a girl that you love her on the first date is going to send her running for the nearest cab. But an honest, heartfelt, “Hey, I really like you!” may make her swoon. Yup, just like you’re back in grade school, without the hair-pulling. If that’s too much for you, try something safer like “I like hanging out with you.” Compliments will score you points, too, so throw in “I like your outfit” or “I really like your hair that way.”