12 Biggest Reasons People Fall Out of Love

Ending a relationship is hard for anyone. But you might be wondering what went wrong. Here are the biggest reasons people fall out of love.

We all put up with a lot in relationships. After all, that’s the whole point: relationships are about give-and-take, for better or for worse. But certain actions break the bond of trust and respect and signal the end. It can be hard to tell what the signs are when you or your partner start to fall out of love. It might not mean breaking up, but chances are it’ll at least trigger an emotional disconnect that may well be irreparable.

Here are the top reasons why people fall out of love with their partner.


12.) Attraction Is Gone

attraction is gone fall out of love

Money Crashers

The thing that kills attraction the most is not having fun in your relationship. If you fall into a bad pattern, it’s hard to break. Eventually, you and your partner stop going out on dates or doing special things together.

The physical attraction is still there, but you do not have a connection anymore. Being attracted to each other is about that emotional connection. If you lose that, you might fall out of love.

11.) Boredom

boredom can make people like each other less


Over time, people change and become more comfortable with who they are. This type of change leaves the person to experiment with their interests and desires. A way to accept your partner changing is to go with the flow.

Changes happen in a relationship, so if you refuse to budge, the relationship could be over. The boredom in your relationship will make the both of you fall out of love.

10.) Honeymoon Phase Is Over

Woman and man out of honeymoon phase

She Knows

When first entering a relationship, both parties usually fall hard for each other. You love everything about that person. Over time, the rose colored glasses fall off and reality starts to sets in.

You might even hate everything you once loved about that person, and that’s okay. Just try to treat your partner respectuflly even if you’ve fallen out of love.

9.) Lack of Communication

lack of communication

Money Crashers

When starting a relationship, couples usually want to share everything with each other. Once the couple starts to feel comfortable with one another, that communication goes to the wayside. If either party does not feel comfortable sharing or communicating, the communication starts to dwindle away.

There is a possibility that communication shuts down completely when there is no healthy way to discuss issues anymore.

8.) Grudges


Brit and Co

Learning to forgive and forget is hard, especially if the action was hurtful. It’s hard to move on from a difficult situation when the band-aid from a past scenario is constantly being thrown in your face.

Neither of you can move on. It’s not a healthy relationship if both parties are constantly remembering the pain.

7.) Love Wasn’t Love

love wasn't real

Brit and Co

At the start of any relationship, people mistake lust for love. What we think are passion and understanding is lust in disguise. If you are in love with each other, the saying “for better or for worse” comes into play.

If you are lusting after another person, you may want to drop them when tough times arise.

6.) Incompatible

incompatible couple

Life Vow

Sometimes, the reason you fall out of love doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s simple: neither parties are compatible. This may not have been true at the beginning of the relationship, but sometimes people change and become incompatible later.

You may overlook this fact, but you can start to get annoyed with your partner’s choices, lifestyles or opinions. After some time of things, falling out of love would be natural.

5.) Intellectual Disconnect

intellectual disconnect


While you might be able to overcome the fact that neither of you is physically perfect, it’s hard to get past it when you just don’t connect mentally. If your values are different, your opinions clash and your interests don’t even remotely intersect, you’re working without a full tool chest.

It’s hard to carry on a conversation with a person you’ve got nothing in common with and can’t relate to intellectually. If all you’ve got is physical attraction for each other, it might be a great and satisfying fling, but it’s likely a deal breaker as far as a real relationship goes.

4.) Lying

lying can cause people to fall out of love


Lying is part of the equation in many of the top deal breakers, so of course, it has to stand on its own as well. Nobody can respect or trust you if you make a habit of making things up. Even if your lies are never discovered, you know about it. Not only does lying usually lead to more lies, but lying affects how you relate to your loved one overall.

Do little white lies and lies of omission count? Well, that depends whether you’re doing it for the good of your partner — like you don’t want to spoil his surprise birthday party or you want her to feel attractive — or to deceive.

3.) Cheating

cheating is a deal breaker for many

Thought Catalog

A surprising number of relationships survive cheating, but often that’s because the partner doesn’t find out. Sometimes they might suspect something, but it’s less painful to be in denial. Nineteen percent of women and 23 percent of men admit to straying, according to a study conducted by Indiana University in Bloomington. Men are usually more driven by physical satisfaction, while women often seek an emotional connection.

Either way, cheating represents checking out of your relationship. On some level, whether you get caught or not, you’ve broken the deal. Oh, and by the way, 85 percent of women and 74 percent of men say sexting counts, according to a Huffington Post/YouGov poll.

2.) Name Calling

name calling

The Relationship Institute of San Francisco

The occasional slip during an argument might be accepted by your partner, who then likely gives it right back. But regular name calling, criticisms or other verbal putdowns are among the hardest hurdles to overcome in a relationship. While some say verbal abuse isn’t as bad as physical violence, many who have been through it says it’s just as bad, if not worse.

You might not drive your partner away immediately by being obnoxious, but you can bet that you will become a disgusting, undesirable monster in his or her eyes — and that’s hard to let go of.

1.) Hitting

hitting can make people fall out of love


Getting physical in a relationship should refer to kissing, cuddling and sex — not violence. Hitting’s not cool, and punching is even less cool. We all know this, right? And yet, stats show us that almost 1.5 million people a year are assaulted by their partners.

Eighty-five percent of domestic violence victims in the U.S. are women, and twenty-five percent of women will have a run-in with it at some point during her lifetime. While many don’t leave the relationship right away, for financial or self-esteem reasons, make no mistake: it’s still a deal breaker. Let your fist rule, and it’s only a matter of time before something comes crashing down.


If you’ve fallen out of love and need to know how to break up with your partner, read our next article for tips.