“Till death do us part.” That’s your belief going into a marriage. Through thick and thin, you’ll work it out and be the strongest couple to walk the planet. Sadly, no matter how perfect a marriage might seem on the outside, insider problems can build up over time and lead to a divorce. While many things can trigger the end to a marriage, several top issues tend to be leading causes.
An addiction can break apart the happiest of homes. Chronic use of drugs or alcohol can change someone’s personality, making the other partner feel isolated and helpless. Severe gambling debts or even sex addictions that cause a person to cheat can tear a marriage apart. If you notice a weekend habit is now affecting your loved one during the work week or leaving you alone to run the entire household, you’ll need to get help right away.
During the honeymoon stage, you and your better half were going at it like teenagers. But now that you’re married with a mortgage, a couple kids and a 9-to-5 job, your sex life is lacking. Maybe he wants more and she’s too tired all the time. Or it’s possible that she wants more and he isn’t able to perform. If you or your spouse feel like sex is a rare occurrence, your marriage could be on the line. Talk about it, get to the doctor or take a weekend trip together to get your libido back on track.
If your wife seems to nitpick at every tiny detail or if the only two words you hear out of your husband’s mouth are “hello” and “goodbye,” your communication is dismal. Constant bickering usually stems from a bigger problem—you’re most likely not really furious about that dirty dish in the sink. Something else is troubling you. Marriage is work, and you need to put effort into it every single day; otherwise you’ll wind up with a divorce. Set aside a few minutes each day to talk with no interruptions. Turn off the cellphones, put the kids to bed and talk about your day, your concerns and how you’re feeling. As long as you keep the lines of communication open, your marriage is more likely to stay strong for years to come.
Finances put a major strain on any relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together. Maybe one partner lost a job or the wife unexpectedly became pregnant. Suddenly you went from being financially stable to wondering which is more important, groceries or the electric bill. Before your financial state digs a hole in your relationship, sit down, budget your expenses or meet with a financial planner. Be open and honest about what you spend, what you bring in and any bills you have. You’re better off trying to take control from the beginning, rather than waiting until they tow your car.
Everyone has their own definition of cheating. One partner may consider cheating as having sexual intercourse with another person. But for some, cheating can be having a bond with a member of the opposite sex and hiding it, even though no one is sleeping around. Cheating can also be using adult movies or magazines and then putting away the evidence so your partner doesn’t find anything. Only you and your other half can figure out what constitutes cheating in your relationship, but one thing is certain: If you feel cheated on, bring it out in the open as soon as possible.