He opened the refrigerator and couldn’t believe his eyes. Even after all his threats and warnings, someone had still had the gall to help themselves. Incredulous, he looked at the empty space on the shelf and began to feel a wave of rage roll over him.
Then, he spotted the unlabeled jar and began to chuckle. Did he dare?
While working hard in his third year of college, Ellis was sharing his space with three roommates. He had met them in his second year, and they had decided to pool their resources to rent an apartment on campus.
Ellis happened to be the eldest, and also the only one who owned a car, so the three friends decided to come to an agreement.
Ellis and his roommates decided that pantry staples, such as bread and milk, would be purchased communally. This arrangement worked well in the beginning. Every week, Ellis would drive to the grocery store with a list, and if there were any extras he trusted that the other roommates would pay him back.
For the first few months, everything went smoothly. Until Andrew’s new girlfriend moved in.
Food Began To Disappear
Ellis began to notice that someone in the apartment was taking more than their fair share. But it wasn’t just milk disappearing. Soon, the treats that Ellis had bought for himself began to disappear, too.
As irksome as this was, nobody would own up to it. As convenient as the arrangement had been, Ellis knew that it was time to end it.
Abandoning The Plan
As far as Ellis was concerned, it was now everyone for themselves. There were no more communal shopping trips, and he even started to label all his food. But, despite all this, the food started to disappear again.
Now, Ellis was usually a forgiving person, but enough was enough. He pulled out a sharpie and got to work.
‘I start tracking when things disappear to hatch a plan most foul,’ Ellis wrote on the popular Reddit thread ‘pettyrevenge.”
‘Mostly, it’s the milk and eggs that start going first. Andrew and his girlfriend normally get up before me to make breakfast, so I get up before him and wait for cereal pouring, and I see him using my milk.’
‘The previous level of liquid was marked with a sharpie,’ Ellis continued. ‘Pretty much caught in the act, our conversation goes like this: “I see you’ve got my milk there.”’
“Sorry dude, I ran out. I’ll get some today and replace it,” Andrew replied. Ellis, thinking that this would be the end of the annoying situation, was prepared to leave it at that. But this saga was far from being over.
Crossing The Line
‘I thought we had an understanding, but this continues for a few more days,’ Ellis wrote. But, then, Ellis’ audacious roommate stepped over the line.
Too lazy to go and buy groceries for himself, Andrew began to eat Ellis’ lunches, too. ‘The behavior did not stop and he actually seemed to be eating more of my food out of spite,’ Ellis explained. Then came the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Enough Is Enough
‘I would use my leftovers to meal prep for the week, and told him to stop as it was expensive as well as inconvenient. Go into the refrigerator and it’s gone. Looked in the trash can and there was my chicken tenders container.’ Ellis wrote.
Enough was enough. It was time to put a stop to it, once and for all. Ellis inspected the unmarked jar in the fridge and knew what he had to do.
‘I carefully opened the sandwich…’ he explained.
‘I needed something slow acting since I didn’t want just one bite “hey that’s spicy.” NO! I wanted this to build and then knock him down. So I picked one sauce containing the Bhut Jolokia and Moruga Scorpion chili peppers. Both were at one time considered the hottest peppers in the world by Guinness Book.’ But Ellis wasn’t done yet…
‘I used a lot of it but it was worth it, but I wasn’t done. HAHA!!! NO! I took out some dried reaper and ghost chilis from the refrigerator, which I use for chili and jarring pickles. I cut them up into fine pieces using latex gloves, eye goggles, and a mask,’ Ellis continued.
‘Then, I sprinkle them onto the sandwich.’
Setting The Trap
‘I took extra care to place the sub right at the front of the refrigerator,’ he continued. ‘Finally at around 10:50 PM I hear heavy breathing like a dog panting loudly and hear the sounds of shoes squeaking, almost like somebody was playing basketball.’
‘Then I go in and see Andrew, sweating heavily, stumbling down the counter, and breathing up a hurricane. He resembled a fish out of water on a hot sidewalk.’
‘I point towards him and say “YOU! STOP stealing my damn lunch!”’ But Andrew wasn’t the only one eating the sandwich.
Andrew had shared the flaming-hot sandwich with his girlfriend, Anna. Tears were streaming down her face and her eyes were wide with disbelief. But Ellis had no remorse. He knew they both deserved it.