Top 5 Worst Horror Remakes

Fishing stories may be more entertaining with every retelling, but that’s usually not the case with horror movies. Zack Snyder’s remake of “Dawn of the Dead” and John Carpenter’s adaptation of “The Thing” are notable exceptions, because these master storytellers know how to make a well-loved story even better. Plenty of other horror remakes, meanwhile, may leave you screaming for MST3K’s Joel and his robot pals.

5 “I Am Omega” (2007), Directed by Griff Furst

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The Asylum, which produced this movie, is a low-budget studio well-known for cheesy creature flicks. “I Am Omega” is the fourth movie adaptation of Richard Matheson’s post-apocalyptic novel “I Am Legend,” in which a deadly virus has turned most survivors into bloodthirsty ghouls. While the first three adaptations feature movie legends Vincent Price, Charlton Heston and Will Smith as the brilliant scientist who dies while frantically trying to find a cure, this version fields Mark Dacascos as a loner who misses his mom and battles a half-dozen ex-Marine rapists.

4 “The Island of Dr. Moreau” (1996), Directed by John Frankenheimer

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This remake of the 1977 horror-thriller, based on H.G. Wells’ novel by the same name, shows in grueling detail how a stellar cast can be blown out of the water by a lousy script. Marlon Brando, who had given the performance of a lifetime in the 1989 anti-Apartheid thriller “A Dry White Season,” received a “Razzie” for his uninspired acting in Frankenheimer’s fiasco. Apparently, shooting the film was not exactly an inspiring experience for the cast. In her blog, female lead Fairuza Balk writes, “There are enough stories to write an entire book about it.”

3 “The Wicker Man” (2006), Directed by Neil LaBute

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A pill-popping cop stumbles onto a homicidal, feminist New-Age cult in this tedious snore fest. That’s right—snore fest, not gore fest. The 1973 original “The Wicker Man” featured Edward Woodward as the tragically religious super cop Howie who finds himself outwitted by a charming, sinister Lord Summerisle, played by Christopher Lee. That film has been called the “Citizen Kane” of horror. LaBute’s remake pits Nicholas Cage’s hopeless overacting against Ellen Burstyn, who takes her poorly crafted character, Sister Summerisle, much too seriously.

2 “Day of the Dead” (2007), Directed by Steve Miner

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A remake should have something to do with the movie it’s retelling. Instead, “Day of the Dead” film is yet another unimaginative regurgitation of a story that’s already been told a thousand times. It stars Ving Rhames, who appeared in the the 2004 remake of “Dawn of the Dead,” as a grumpy Captain Rhoads. Rhames’ ill-tempered character bears no resemblance to the hilarious, over-the-top villain played by Joe Pilato 22 years earlier.

1 “Birdemic: Shock and Terror’ (2010), Directed by James Nguyen

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In terms of badness, this remake of Hitchcock’s 1963 classic “The Birds” beats Ed Wood’s “Plan 9 From Outer Space” by a wide margin. “Birdemic” is the worst movie ever made. Any artistic merit the lame story and mediocre acting may have had was completely obliterated by the terrible special effects. Stuffed birds on a string would have been more convincing than the slow-moving computer animated ones that simply hovered in place. Shoestring-budget film school projects, like John Carpenter’s “Dark Star” can become classics. But Ngyuen is no John Carpenter.

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