It’s not easy to tell your boyfriend that you’ve fallen out of love and no longer wish to see him. It’s even more difficult when you’re leaving a long-term relationship or moving out. In the words of lyricist Neil Sedaka, “breaking up is hard to do”. However, we’ve listed 5 ways to break up with your boyfriend in the best way possible. Remember to choose a method that is appropriate for your relationship. If you’ve been together for 4 years, you may not want to break up with your boyfriend in a text message.
5.) In Person and Heart to Heart
You might feel you need a break—not necessarily permanent—from your significant other, but doesn’t mean you can have this conversation over the phone. Invite him over. Sit your guy down and have a straightforward conversation, explaining your reasons for needing a break. Come up with a length of time and be firm. You may want to write down your reasons beforehand, to better prepare yourself for this conversation. So long as you’re honest, things should go smoothly.
An important thing to remember when you’re breaking up with your partner is to not be under the influence of alcohol at the time. It might be tempting to have few or a lot of drinks to calm your nerves. Explain your thought process – what made you want to move on? Be positive and encouraging. Give him a few compliments so he doesn’t have to walk away feeling too bad about himself.
4.) Moving Out
If you’re planning to move out and leave your boyfriend with the apartment, it may be a good idea to pack up and move out some things before having the break-up conversation. It’s best to break up with your boyfriend someplace other than the home—in a public place, where outbursts are less likely.
If you would need to be the one to move out, you may want to find a new place to live before you have the conversation so you can be prepared to move. You even have to move in with family again until oyu get back on your feet.
According to a survey by Rent.com, many couples continue to live together after breaking up. Unfortunately, lease agreements can result in a prolonged delay of separation. If you’re planning to break a lease, you’ll be responsible for the fees associated with this break. Otherwise, be prepared to stay in place until the lease ends.
If you do have to end up living together for a period of time, there are a few things to keep in mind. You’ll need to arrange sleeping arrangements and what happens if one of you want to bring a date home. You will both need to start respecting each other’s privacy, as ex’s you no longer need to explain where you’re going to be during your day. Lastly, do not fall back into bad habits together.
3.) Text Message
If you’re in a serious relationship, it’s not OK to break up with your boyfriend via text message. But if you’re simply ending something after a one-night stand, this method is fine. The solution is quick, easy, and right at your fingertips. You’re ending something that never really began, so it’s fine to let go in 160 characters.
In the text message, you should mention something specific and positive about the person but however, you weren’t feeling a spark, therefore, you should be friends. For example,
“Hi, it’s been lovely getting to you know you and I’ve loved discussing all things Game of Thrones and Harry Potter related. However, I’m not feeling any kind of chemistry between us so perhaps we’d be better as friends”.
If the person receiving the text message wants a phone call or an in-person meeting, you might consider whether you’re comfortable with the request.
2.) Over the Phone
It’s not recommended to break up with your boyfriend over the phone, unless you’re in a long-distance relationship. New relationships can sometimes be ended over the phone, but only if you’ve been on just a couple dates. If you’ve consummated the relationship or live together, breaking up should happen in person.
However, if you do decide to break up over the phone, you should not wait for the person to call you first. If you’ve made up your mind, you need to find the courage to follow it through. Make sure that the person isn’t in an awkward place. Make sure they’re not on the train or out shopping, they should be in a private place as they need to express their emotions. Also, be prepared for a lot of silences, they need time to take it all in.
Breaking up over the phone leaves little room for argument. If you’re serious about ending the relationship, you won’t be persuaded by your boyfriend. Still, it’s important to listen to his side and allow him to make peace with your decision to end things.
1.) Fast and In-Person
There’s no point in dragging it out. The relationship is over. You’ve made up your mind. Now it’s just a matter of telling him. Beforehand, write down your reasons for ending the relationship. Be succinct and to the point. This shouldn’t be a debate. Be prepared with all the questions they may ask and know your answers beforehand.
>Elly Prior, a BACP accredited couple’s counselor, recommends that you be clear about your reasons for breaking up. Get straight to the point and don’t beat around the bush. Have the conversation while walking through a small park. When the walk is over, so is your relationship.
Breaking up is always hard and a little awkward. You first need to think about how you want to break up with your boyfriend and what way is respectful of your relationship. Consider your reasons why and just go for it. There’s no time like the present!
If you’re wanting a bit of optimism in the world of love after a break, we’ve got 5 Dating App Success Stories That Will Warm Your Heart, Top 5 Ways To Heal a Broken Heart and 5 Dating Apps You Have To Try If You’re Single.