Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Quit Facebook

1000 Words
Facebook is probably the most-hated social network that everyone uses. Once a “cool”—or at least, cooler—site just for college students, now it’s a place where your parents, boss and teachers can spy on you, you can find out your ex has most definitely moved on and you can watch your cousins squabble. In other words, it’s just like real life—with the added bonus of massive privacy issues and the controversial use of users’ information so Facebook and other companies can profit. So why don’t more people quit the misery that is Facebook? Because they can’t quit Facebook anymore than they can quit real life.

5 Facebook is the Hotel California

Let’s say you’re a rock. You’re an island. You don’t care how many people give you weird looks when you say you’re not on Facebook or that friends are super-desperate for you to see them flirt with their significant others via tagged status updates. You’ve quit Facebook! Never again! Unfortunately, the people you know are still on Facebook, and they’re still sharing information and photographs about you. Facebook and its users still know who your friends and relatives are, what you’re doing and where you’re going. Think you can check out of FaceBook? Think again.

4 Facebook Guilts You Into Coming Back

For those of you who are misanthropic workaholics and don’t feel the need to check Facebook in order to waste time or keep up with others that you only marginally know, Facebook has devised a system to guilt-trip you into logging back in. Every so often, the site will send you notifications. Your dad posted on your wall — he’s waiting for you to respond. Your college roommate just posted some photos — don’t you want to see them? You have unread messages — you really should reply. Now, don’t you feel kind of bad for ignoring Facebook?

3 It’s a Habit

You need a five-minute brain break, so what do you do? You check Facebook. But it’s only to see if there’s anything interesting happening on there, not because you actually care about it, obviously. You see a string of mildly amusing Grumpy Cat photos and like them all, and feel like you can return back to work refreshed. An hour later, you need another brain break. Rinse, wash, repeat. If you didn’t have Facebook to waste time on, what would you do for a little mini-break?

2 You’ll Be Clueless and Alone

Hey, did you hear about that party Mary is planning, that your cousin is having a baby or that your ex is now flirting with your BFF from high school? How about that movie everyone saw and thought was hiiiiilarious? Did you catch that killer deal on shampoo at the store or the news story everyone is talking about? You didn’t? Oh, sorry, they forgot that you’re not on Facebook. Since most people plan events and share information through Facebook these days, if you’re not on it you’ll feel out of the loop. And no one wants to be loop-less.

1 Peer Pressure

A recent report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project shows that 94 percent of American teenagers are on Facebook. With numbers like that, not being on Facebook is like not having electricity. If you quit Facebook, people want to know why, as if you need a reason. Your friends wonder if you even care about them anymore, and your mom wants to know why you didn’t comment on her cute cat photos, until finally you just give in and like all their status updates. Except for the annoying political rants you don’t agree with, of course.

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