Well, it can’t be all bad news for Drunk Baby. I mean, he’s a likeable guy with some great stories to tell. So, we had to end the list with Drunk Baby getting a little cuddle action. He knows exactly what to say to the ladies, even if he hasn’t learned his ABCs. You don’t want to know what’s going on in his diaper. And just wait until this Lilliputian lothario starts teething. I can tell you this: he won’t be using the same type of teething rings we used, if you catch my drift.
4 Got Your Nose!
Again with Johnny Law? Drunk Baby just can’t catch a break! And hey, he’s trying to be cooperative and do everything the officers ask of him. It’s not his fault that his dad stole his nose. Maybe if they just let him off with a warning, he’d learn his lesson. No, just kidding. Drunk Baby’s a crazy mofo. He can’t be controlled and he doesn’t play by your rules. Or paint by your numbers.
3 Unprovoked aggression
Even big time celebrities like Drunk Baby have bad days. That wasn’t exactly his day, it would seem. There he is, just hanging out and getting some fresh air, and some authority figure has to come and ruin it. Well, Drunk Baby, if we were there, things would have gone down a little differently. We wouldn’t take any guff from no hot shot, college boy like that. You know we’ve got your back, son. And your backside as well.
When seen through the eyes of DB (or anybody else who’s totally sauced, for that matter), everything looks magical. Think how thrilling a game of peek-a-boo must be for Drunk Baby. It must be like a magician reappearing over and over. That would flip my lid, especially if I had my glug on like Drunk Baby. Yes, having no concept of permanence is hilarious, and we can thank Drunk Baby for reminding us of that.
Apparently with wisdom beyond his years, Drunk Baby knows when he’s had a few too many. Good thing too, because he’d never pass a sobriety checkpoint with a face like that. And you can’t really expect him to walk a straight line, drunk or otherwise. Or maybe he thinks it would look lame to have a breathalyzer installed on his walker. Just give him a sippy cup with some water and some gold fish and pray for the best.