Party Potus: Top 5 Reasons to Party with Barack Obama

As the President of the United States, Barack Obama is known the world-over as the calculated, composed, and steady hand that leads our great nation. But what if, on one fateful night, you found yourself out on the town with him? These are the top five reasons it’d be awesome to party with Barack Obama.

5 Notoriety

Honestly, do you really think that any one man on the planet gets offered more drinks on the house than the ruler of the free world? For all intents and purposes (though probably only for like the next 20 years before China totally takes over), the President of the United States is the king of Earth. So if you think happy hour prices at your local cantina are low now, try bringing the POTUS along with you, and watch the sweet, frothy, freebies roll in.

4 Safety

At one point or another, you’ve probably gotten a bit overzealous with your alcohol intake and made a bit of a scene. And the next morning, when slowly remembering what exactly transpired the night before, you wished that someone had been there to immediately put a stop to it and take you home. Enter the Secret Service. Hanging with Barack will give you access to the world’s premiere protection agency, and when you’re falling all over yourself and trying to fight a seven-foot bouncer, you’ll be glad to have them there. Provided they aren’t preoccupied with Colombian prostitutes, those guys could really come in handy.

3 Honesty

In 2006, knowing full well his intentions to run for president, then Senator Barack Obama admitted not only to smoking pot, but … inhaling! In a very levelheaded manner, Barack responded to questions about recreational drug use by saying, “I inhaled frequently … That was the point.” The guy is just candid. Add to that the fact that being under the influence often facilitates honesty, and it’s clear that few will shoot you straighter than an inebriated Obama. So if you need some feedback about whether you should really open your own all-you-can-eat cheese restaurant, no one will tell it like it is quite like a 10-beer deep Barry O.

2 The Gift of Gab

If you’ve ever heard our nation’s 44th president utter a single word, you know this one thing: The dude is a smooth operator. Barack Obama is charismatic, articulate, and compelling seemingly every time he opens his mouth. And what more could you want in a drinking buddy? Whether you’re chatting up some ladies at the bar, or trying to explain to the police exactly why you were peeing off of that overpass, it can’t hurt to have a man who’s able to talk his way into the White House on your side.

1 Risk-Taker

President Barack Obama is not a man who shies away from something just because it’s risky. Case in point, in spite of pervasive doubts regarding the intel about the compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, President Obama gave the final okay on the operation that sent in Seal Team Six and brought Osama Bin Laden to justice. A man who’s willing to overlook risk in the face of accomplishing an ultimate goal is a man you want to party with. After all, it takes a true risk taker to invent midnight rooftop keg stands on a night that starts out just like any other.

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