Malcolm Freberg: Top 5 Online “Survivor” Fan Interactions

Photo by Diana Ragland
“Reality TV is a strange animal. One day you’re sitting around having a cocktail for breakfast deciding how you can waste another day to further delay adulthood, and the next you’re launched to quasi-stardom and broadcasted in HD to millions of viewers. Minimal effort and talent leading to overnight fame? It’s the embodiment of the American Dream. And thanks to Al Gore’s internet-machine, fans can now interact with their favorite television personalities in ways never before possible. In the past year while starring on CBS’ ‘Survivor,’ I’ve been sent marriage proposals, had pets named after me, had tribute montage videos made in my honor, and received a large number of intensely creepy private messages that decorum dictates I leave unmentioned. From all that chaos, I present 5 of my all-time favorites.”

5 Life = Over

“Little girls crying is not something I enjoy, but it can be oddly validating. This was apparently filmed moments after I was voted off the show. Side note: meanest parents ever.”

4 Mini-Me

“I get sent a lot of pictures, and in most cases the lack of enthusiasm makes them boring and forgettable. This was not one of those times. His mom needs to sack up and stop cutting his hair, but then I think this kid’s got it.”

3 Be Mine

“Getting your boxers pulled off by another man while wrestling in two feet of water is bad. Doing it while being filmed by a dozen HD cameras is worse. Having that scene aired to ten million people the night before Valentine’s Day is awkward. The e-card that spawned from that perfect storm of public embarrassment is amazing.”

2 Hold Up, Bro

“I knew I was never going to be a rock star, and years ago gave up on my dream of ever being in a music video. I also packed up my extensive childhood Lego collection over a decade ago, sadly knowing that I had outgrown such immature playthings. So when these two concepts collided like a speeding train of Epic smashing into an impenetrable wall of Awesome – all starring me – I won at life.”

1 Move Over Chevy Chase

“Photoshop, much like Saruman the White, is very powerful and capable of both good and evil. I’ve had my face crudely pasted into some strange situations, ranging from amusing to gross, to illegal, and my reactions vary accordingly. But I laughed out loud with appreciation when I saw that someone had put this amount of effort into artfully inserting my face into one of my favorite movies of all time.”

Internet memes are a beautiful part of internet culture, so if you liked the memes created for Malcolm then step on over to our list of The Best Internet Memes of All Time.

Maybe adventure is more your thing, that’s why you watched Survivor in the first place, right? Check out this real life world-traveler and adventurer Gary Arndt with his Top 5 Things He’s Learned While Traveling the World!

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