Nothing Asinine: the Best King of the Hill Episodes Ever

Who’s better: Ronald Reagan or Tom Landry? Trick Question: Both. Welcome to our survey all of things wholesome, hilarious, and (undeniably) American. Our top 5 King of the Hill episodes of all time! Oh, bear in mind that adultery is a fairly standard American tradition. But this show does inspire a sense of pride in us, since it champions beef, beer, sports, and domestically built trucks. Wait… how could we forget propane and propane accessories? So, raise a miniature flag in your heart and salute the waning principals that America used to stand for and, fortunately, Hank Hill still does.

5 “Peggy’s Headache,” Season 3, 1998

That awkward moment when you realize your next door neighbor has been having an affair for a dozen years, but no one in the neighborhood wants to talk about it. Because they’ve all known about Nancy and John Redcorn for a decade. Most of the humor comes not from Peggy’s disgust at Nancy’s infidelity, but her inability to “inform” anyone. Again, her pride and naivety overlap, which leads to some hilarious frustration from the über-competitive Peggy. Like when she “breaks” the news to Minh, who figured out the affair in “about ten minutes.” As Minh says, “Nancy is cheating on John Redcorn?”

4 “Meet the Propaniacs,” Season 4, 2000

Bobby and Hank’s relationship is, well… that boy just ain’t right. So, the instances when they do get together and work on something are always heart warming and thrilling for long-time fans of the show. Propaniacs is a double a pleasure, then, since we also see Hank out of character by playing a character. Bobby’s comedy world coincides with Hank’s propane world, which is a delight for them both. Hank has some hilarious moments (not being an experienced thespian), like accidentally feeling up the Texas State Propane Commissioner’s diaper. You must buy, you must buy, you must buy… PROPANE!

3 “Traffic Jam,” Season 2, 1998

How jealous are you of Hank Hill’s stand up comedy traffic school? I went to a “comedy” traffic school, but I didn’t get freakin’ Chris Rock! (Or any chuckles at all, for that matter.) Eventually, Buddha Sack takes young Bobby under his wing, showing our favorite pudgy prodigy the ropes of the stand up comedy world. On Buddha’s advice, Bobby tries to tell jokes from his perspective. Unfortunately, his “white” humor doesn’t go over very well with Buddha’s mostly black audience. Yikes! Fun Fact: Buddha’s name was originally Busta Nut before Fox censors rejected this name for (cough, cough) obvious reasons.

2 “The Peggy Horror Picture Show,” Season 10, 2007

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Well, Peggy isn’t exactly a girly-girl, but she sure deserves better than this. Her new “gal pal,” Carolyn, isn’t actually a gal, but a drag queen. To add insult to injury, Carolyn thought Peggy was a drag queen, too. It doesn’t help much when Carolyn says, “I thought you were the best I’d ever saw.” Peggy, for some reason, decides to back out of the drag performance she and Carolyn had planned. All of Peggy’s funniest aspects are on full display in this episode: her self-confidence, her inferiority complex, her lack of femininity, her competitive nature. The sum total is Peggy dressing like a drag queen and having a ball.

1 “Jumpin’ Crack Bass (It’s a Gas, Gas, Gas),” Season 2, 1997

Speaking of Hank’s traditional values, nothing seems as sincere as his appreciation for a hand-dug worm. Especially an American one. But, like any good fisherman, he seeks out a more effective lure and winds up accidentally buying some crack rocks. (We’ve all been there.) This leads to several hilarious innuendos between Hank and the drug dealer, such as Hank unknowingly asking for stronger dope. He and Dale get caught buying, and end up being tried before a judge. Of course, Dale gets gagged (not that it stops him from smoking). The whole episode revolves around Hanks naivety in such matters, which established a recurring and hilarious theme for the entire Hill family.

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Boy, I tell you hwat, that was a damn fine list. Chock full of classic episodes, characters, and gags. We love this show like Hank loves a tender juicy steak cooked on a Wagner Char-King with a frosty Alamo beer in hand, waiting for the Cowboys game to start. But, perhaps you think this list just ain’t right. Well, instead of developing a Dale-esque conspiracy theory, why don’t you tells about it below. Give us your favorite episode and if your choice is better than Peggy’s Es-Span-Yola (which is perfect), you just might make it on the list. But first we’ve got to list a few of other favorites. Trust us, they’re anything but asinine.

Honorary Mentions

Life: A Loser’s Manual — The funniest Lucky episode features Luanne’s ne’er-do-well father (played by Johnny Knoxville) getting into all sorts of drug-fueled shenanigans.
Peggy’s Gone to Pots — Dale confronted by the real Rusty Shackleford. Gh!
Reborn to Be Wild — “Can’t you see you’re not making Christianity any better; you’re just making rock’n’roll worse?” Amen!

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