Insane Recreation: the Top 5 (Assumptive) Favorite Pastimes of Gary Busey

By TK Kelly February 27, 2013 View all posts (151)
Image credit: Wikipedia
Gary Busey is a Hollywood legend. Sure, you probably can’t name more than one of his movies, but you can vividly remember at least ten times his encroaching madness has cracked you up. Busey is a special kind of entertainer, the kind that needn’t do any more than simply be himself in order to bring joy to millions. Some people think he might be a little unstable, but we here at Top 5 say that he’s perfect the way he is. We also believe that if it is even half as entertaining to be Gary Busey as it is to watch Gary Busey, then Gary Busey is the likely the happiest man on the planet. But how does such a unique specimen spend his downtime? What is the day-to-day like for Gary when he’s not teetering on the brink of insanity on camera? We looked into it, and these are the top five favorite pastimes of Mr. Gary Busey.

5 Trying to get paintings to talk back to him

Another of Gary’s favorite pastimes actually includes visiting the world’s most famous museums, although it isn’t an effort to soak up culture, but is actually based on the belief that if he talks to famous paintings long enough, they’ll talk back. The unique hobby stems from a visit to the Louvre back in 1987, when Busey claims he was able to get the Mona Lisa’s phone number. Ever since then, he has become a legitimate art aficionado, travelling the globe to chat up the man in Edvard Munch’s The Scream or even flirt with the woman holding the umbrella in Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte.

4 Working at Jiffy Lube

It’s not like he needs the money, Gary Busey simply enjoys getting his hands dirty. So when he’s not busy working on a big-time Hollywood movie set, or doing naked interpretive dance on the roof of his mansion, you can often find him working at many greater Los Angeles-area Jiffy Lube locations. He bounces around from shop to shop so as to avoid the paparazzi, but also just to keep things fresh, because there’s nothing quite like the look on people’s faces when they look down into that pit in the floor and see Gary Busey’s smiling face looking back at them as he tosses aside the oil filter he just pulled off their 2003 Toyota Camry.

3 Bare-back sunset ostrich rides

Rumor has it, that when dusk falls over the scenic cliffs of Malibu, you can sometimes spot the silhouette of a wild-haired cowboy atop a majestic ostrich that gracefully gallops along the golden horizon. Some say it’s a ghost, others say an illusion. While Gary Busey’s neighbors say that it’s definitely just Gary Busey riding a huge bird. Ted Martling, Busey’s neighbor of one year, says he’s absolutely sure of it, mostly because he sees him emerge every evening from his bird stables and ride off toward the beach while the Bonanza theme song blares from the massive speakers in Busey’s backyard P.A. system.

2 Face-painting

Just to preface, this isn’t the kind of face painting you’re thinking of. This isn’t where Gary goes to a local carnival and has a Spider-Man mask painted on his face. It isn’t even where he goes to an Oakland Raiders game wearing spiked shoulder pads with his face painted black and silver (though he has been randomly spotted at the grocery store dressed that way). No, this is the kind of face painting that Gary considers true expression; it’s where he covers his entire face with wet paint, then smashes it into a canvas. The result is a terrifying art form that looks a lot like a manic ghost trying to escape its canvas prison, and they are currently available for purchase at roughly $600k a piece. Incidentally, they are not selling well.

1 Spending time with his ferrets, Jeffrey and Ben

Whether it’s forcing his butler to bathe them all nightly in a large metal basin in the backyard, or eternally trying to enter them into the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, Gary Busey loves few things more than spending time with his pet ferrets, Jeffrey and Ben. Thinking of them more as sons than as pets (because he literally believes he gave birth to them via c-section back in 2005), Gary treats his ferrets the same way any good father would treat his children, including having tiny baseball gloves custom made so they can all play catch, and going to Sears Portrait Studio every December to make the family Christmas card (an activity which none of Gary’s actual children have ever been asked to partake in).
Well, there you have it, Gary Busey’s five favorite ways to spend his downtime. And don’t believe for a second that there wasn’t plenty more to fill this list, after all, Gary Busey is a man that wears many hats (Literally, one of his other favorite pastimes is seeing how many hats he can wear at once), but we simply couldn’t list them all. So apologies to those of you who wanted to learn more about his underground marmoset racing ring or his affinity for Faberge egg tennis, we just didn’t have the time.

Flackback to the Friday Night Funnies: the Top 5 Shows on TGIF Flackback to the Friday Night Funnies: the Top 5 Shows on TGIF