5 Apex Predators
For some reason, countless people of questionable IQ and minimal foresight insist on buying exotic pets that will grow into something quite capable (and likely incentivized) to kill them. We are going to lump together a few different animals here, with the common thread being that they seem charming and easy to handle when small, but are master purveyors of death when grown up: the lion, tiger, panther, crocodile, and alligator are all prime examples of apex predators best avoided at all costs – not raised as a part of the myopic, self-aggrandizing family, OK?
4 Hermit Crabs
Hermit crabs may seem like the perfect pet for someone who wants an animal around, but doesn’t actually want much responsibility. But while they are easy enough to care for (just put some food and water in a terrarium and make sure there are a few shell-like things around), these many-clawed little critters can actually live more than three decades. So commit with caution.
3 Potbellied Pigs
Potbellied pigs are often imagined to be cute little piglets. They start off that way, but most grow to be well in excess of 100 pounds, some reaching 150 pounds at full size. They remain cute in a funny looking way, but they are also notoriously destructive, eating just about anything and everything they can. Potbellies will often consume their dinner bowls along with its contents, so just imagine what one could do to your leather shoes if you let it get too hungry.
While scorpions are little more than evil looking, stinging, pinching, biting machines, they are relatively common “pets” in the United States. The scorpion is the ideal critter for the person who wants to live in constant fear of their pet – and who wants to guarantee that any date they bring back to their oddly decorated apartment will not have sex with them.
After dogs and cats, the most common pet in America is the hamster. And why not? A hamster is basically nothing more than a small sphere of pure, concentrated charm. They have tiny little hands and feet, nubby little tails, and fat cheeks. If there’s anything cuter than a hamster, it’s a hamster with a hat. And a cane. Especially if he’s driving a little car, too.