5 So Much For Shut Eye
You should also chalk this up to philosophical questions that apply to Superman. Of course, super powers always sound great, especially for the guys and girls out there looking to check out the packages of all the hot people around them. But this one is a total head scratcher (just don’t scratch your head with that talon). Can Superman nap? When he blinks, can he see what’s going on around him? If so, could he sleep in a state of certain readiness at all times? Does he blink just to fit in? And what about ice breath?
4 Bird Watchers
Oh, Superman. We just love mythical figures and legends here at Top 5, and both Superman and Philosoraptor fit the bill. Superhero culture is usually pretty ridiculous—much as we love it to death—and Superman is responsible, in a large part. Well, we think this joke is more powerful than a locomotive. Here’s a puzzler: If Philosoraptor philosophizes, does Superman supervise? No! Of course not! Philosoraptor blows your mind without anyone else’s help.
3 Think It Through
This one may be a little too close for comfort, in the case of our extinct friend over here. Indeed, self-preservation might not be at stake for PR, but there’s an entire generation of twenty-something that could take a page out of his book. Here’s another one: If you only live once, why do you keep repeating the same stupid mistakes? Or why do you keep risking your life in the same exact ways (sorry, sky divers and Nascar drivers)? Yes, even without being alive to see it, it seems that Philosoraptor was already too cool for the up-and-coming generation.
2 Regressive Politics
Oooo, Philosoraptor got all political on your asses! When that asteroid hit the earth, effectively eradicating dinosaurs, he must have learned the art of a devastating burn. Philosoraptor seems to have a pretty good grip on the political pulse of our day—and he seems to be slicing that jugular as befits his species. Seriously though, the bicameral legislature is starting to look more fossil-like than any of our museum friends.
1 Muppet Inquiry
This is really more a question about the sentience of Muppets. The easy answer would be that the puppeteer is giving you an HJ while the Muppet is just a conduit for groping (it ain’t easy being green). But, there’s no magic in that reductive answer. After all, Philosoraptor begs a specific answer by implying that the Muppet—not the puppeteer—is the agent. In that case, it seems like the puppeteer is the abused party in the whole ordeal. Maybe muppeteers are just that used to getting their hands into things, though.