5 Jesus Saves!
If you wanted to base your faith on something, a gigantic limestone Jesus””all magnanimous and such””would do in a pinch. If you wanted to base jump off of something, the same divinity would prove a poor decision. Well, at least he got punished for his sacrilege, it would seem. But I’d like to be on the rescue team that tried to save him when this skydiver looked at them and said, “But you don’t understand: I’ve already been saved.”
4 The Wallflower
Everyone knows what it’s like to feel left out; not everyone has that moment preserved on the internet and broadcasted around the world. But the unbridled bacchanalia unraveling before him seems to add some extra venom to the bite of loneliness. We only have one thing we can think to say to this poor wallflower: LOOOOOOOSER! Oh, well, I guess he can always drown his sorrows in that diet cola he’s holding.
3 The Nutcracker
This is what happens when you try to befriend feminists. More importantly, this the treatment anyone going to a ska show deserves (we should all send that young lady a fruit basket for preventing future ska babies””or skabies, as they’re commonly referred to). Another thing to note is how this fool is clearly trying to dance like Paula Abdul or Will Smith a la Fresh Prince, but he’s dressed for a ska or punk show. Not a good time to mix genres, bro.
2 Wardrobe Malfunction
Let me guess: You can smell what his rocks are cooking? And my guess would be a combination of “˜roid-sweat, hair spray, and butter sauce? As if wrestling weren’t already homoerotic enough, these guys look like they’re ready to explore alternate definitions of a pile driver. And their leather boots don’t really help their case. Much as you want to cringe at the awkwardness of this fail, you also kind of want to be in the audience, to see who makes the next move”¦
1 Re-Enactment Gold
There’s nothing funny about rape. Except thiths all-time fail of fails. “œHave you seen this man?”Only every night for the past five years on my television set. Can you imagine his voice as he described the suspect and started to trail off after, “œMay be seen wearing a red tie”¦”His facial expression is pretty hilarious, too, as if he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar (no pun intended, seriously). Let’s hope they catch him before he spoils another broadcast with his lewd and lascivious behavior.