She Said Yes
Tim had finally found the one girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Sarah was amazing, smart and a sweetheart according to Tim and so he did what any madly in love man does asked her to marry her.
Sarah said yes because she always wanted to settle down and start a family. Little did Tim know what his life was about to look like because deep down was hiding something he was never prepared for.
Meet The Family
Tim took Sarah home for the holidays to meet the rest of his family. Tim was an only son with three sisters. Tim came from a large family so he knew the importance of family and having everyone accept Sarah.
He was most excited about Sarah meeting Grandma Jill, because that was his best friend. They spoke on a regular basis and Grandma was thrilled that Tim had met such an amazing woman, so they thought.
Grandma Jill along with the family welcomed Sarah and embraced her with such warm hearts and joy. They were all eager to meet the lady who had finally managed to make workaholic Tim slow down and want to settle down.
They thought she was sweet, beautiful and very classy. Little did they know the monstrosity of a journey they were about to embark on with this new addition to the family.
As happy and excited everyone was to meet Sarah, everything just felt a bit overwhelming for her. The truth is Sarah came from a very small family and her grandparents had passed on while she was in high school, so to Sarah the importance of family was not that big for her.
However, because she wanted to be in good grace with everyone, she embraced Grandma Jill and pretended to be thrilled to meet them. The fact is she only had to play nice until the wedding.
Grandma Jill was so excited when she got the news that his only grandson was finally getting married. She had been waiting for this moment since Tim was a boy because she felt like he would make a great husband one day.
She also could not wait to pass on her family ring down to him as it was given to her by her mother. She had lost her husband four years before so hearing this gave her that nostalgic feeling she yearned for. Also, Grandma Jill loved weddings wholeheartedly.
Some marriage therapists say that the actual marriage begins with the wedding preparations, if the couple can’t seem to agree on sentimental values and things, then they might be doomed.
Tim and Sarah had no problem with that, simply because Tim said yes to everything Sarah wanted, no matter how lavish or bizarre her requests were, Tim wanted to make his future bride and wife the happiest girl in the world, no matter the cost.
Sarah’s Dream Wedding
Sarah wanted the whole fairytale wedding theme, go big or go home was her motto. She wanted the day to be perfect as well, from the venue, décor, to how everyone looked.
Sarah had been dreaming about this day since she was a young girl and knew exactly how she wanted everything to look like, she even picked the tuxedo she wanted Tim to wear, and most people saw this as controlling however Tim thought it was thoughtful.
Sarah had so many demands, some of them were even outrageous. It was one thing to dress your husband, but it was absurd to ask the parents of the groom to wear certain clothes. Tim’s older sister was starting to get concerned that Sarah was turning into a ‘Bridezilla’.
However, Tim explained that Sarah was just built differently and liked things to be organized in a certain manner and was very passionate about things close to her heart. Tim’s sister was not impressed and even warned Tim.
Royal Sarah’s Guest List
Tim was very popular at his office but he did not have a lot of friends like Sarah, so the majority of his guest list was occupied by family members and cousins.
Tim understood the value of family being at attendance to bare witness to his matrimonial ceremony, so his only request was that every family member be invited. This made Sarah annoyed because she wanted more friends and less family at ‘her’ wedding. She just wanted it to be one huge party.
Sarah insisted that no children were allowed at her wedding because she wanted a huge party with adults dancing and an open bar.
Tim was upset that he had to uninvite all his friends’ kids and all his underage cousins – who had always been a huge part of his life. Then, Sarah made another demand that made Tim’s jaw drop.
As they were finalizing the guest list, Sarah asked for the one thing that changed the trajectory of things. She told Tim that she felt that Grandma Jill should skip the reception and only attend the ceremony, that way she can go home and rest, while they carried on celebrating and having a good time.
Tim’s face dropped, he could believe the words that just came out of Sarah’s mouth, and it felt like he was in a bad dream.
Grandma’s Best Interest
Sarah explained that the reason she said that was because she was only concerned about Grandma Jill’s comfort. She wanted the reception to be a big party where she could get hammered and go crazy. And the last thing she wanted was to be worried about how loud the music would be for grandma.
She said she was not prepared to take care of her at her reception, she wanted the day to be fun and Grandma-free. She just didn’t want to deal with any “Grandma drama.”
Tim found Sarah’s explanation outrageous and finally put his foot down. I mean grandma was not even that old and could take care of herself! She still enjoyed a glass of whisky now and then and also knew her way around the dance floor.
Tim even went as far as to ask Grandma Jill how she felt about the loud music, and she couldn’t wait to dance with Tim. So once again, Tim felt confused by this odd new behavior. Things just didn’t feel right.
Love and War
Sarah was not budging on this request. If she had it her way, the entire elderly family clan would attend the ceremony only and go to sleep after. Sarah wanted to let loose and get drunk with her girls and felt like Grandma was going to kill her vibe and be a giant inconvenience.
Sarah really felt strongly about this, and poor Grandma felt like she was in the middle of a war she had not intended starting or engaging in.
Taking It To Reddit
Sarah was so sure she was the one in the right that she took her story to Reddit’s AITA thread. This Reddit thread is for people to post about their personal conflicts and get judged if they are the in the wrong by other, obective users.
Sarah felt so entitled that she obviously expected everyone to side with her on the issue, but she was in for a big shock.
The Controversial Post
“We’ve agreed to not have kids at our wedding, as we want the reception to be a huge party for your adult friends and family with dancing, loud music, and an open bar,” Sarah wrote.
“However, for precisely the same reasons that we don’t want kids there, I don’t want his elderly grandmother at our wedding either.”
“I Am The Bride”
“She and he both insist that she will be fine and wants to go to the party. But I just know it will inevitably lead to us dealing with her and taking care of her, and I just want to get drunk and let loose with my friends,” Sarah’s post continued.
“She’s now really upset and won’t talk to me, and my fiance is also angry. I think I am within my right to make this request, I am the bride after all.” But Sarah didn’t expect the responses she got.
Sarah’s post stirred up a storm on Reddit. Within no time, it had garnered more than two thousand comments.
The people who read it were absolutely disgusted that this bridezilla wanted to ban her fiance’s grandmother from her own grandson’s wedding! The outraged replies poured in, and they just kept coming.
An Immature, Self-Centered Bride
“You really need to grow up yourself or there will be at least one child at that ceremony. Not only is your ageism gross and your self-centered focus on partying gauche and boorish, but the fact that you have completely dismissed a very reasonable request from the supposed love of your life … you could literally hold the reception in a tent made from a red flag that size,” another user wrote.
“I hope you realize you are not ready to be married. You should cancel the ceremony, cut your fiancée free of you, and spend a few more years getting your fill of the party scene because you are not yet capable of prioritizing the needs and wishes of others over your own desires.”
“Most old folks these days just want to be included. We so often forget they are still people too and more often than not the elderly go for weeks without any sort of interaction or communication with another person,” one user wrote.
“The (baby) bride needs to be less tone deaf and more considerate. One day she may be that uninvited grandma.” And Grandma Jill? What did she think?
Grandma hated the thought of them fighting over her, and she hated how sad this was making Tim. All she ever dreamed about was seeing him get married, but now that reality was seeming less possible.
Tim had bent over backward for Sarah, so he could not understand why she wouldn’t compromise on this one thing and allow him this one request. This entire fight left a bitter taste in his mouth and made him finally see the red flags waving right in front of him.
The night before the wedding, as everyone gathered around the dinner table, Tim stood up and made a not-so-shocking announcement. He decided to ‘pause’ the wedding until he and Sarah worked things out.
Tim finally took off his rose-colored glasses. But Tim’s parents were upset about all that food, deposits, and planning going to waste – they had been the ones who were going to pay for it all. Then, Grandma Jill made a suggestion.
There Would Be A Wedding
Because the venue, flowers, decorators, and caterers had all already been booked and paid for, Grandma Jill suggested that Tim’s parents take everything over from Sarah and Tim and renew their own vows instead. She even offered to pay them back for the entire thing!
Tim’s mom was ecstatic – they hadn’t been able to afford a proper wedding all those years ago. At least, this way, nothing would go to waste.
Although Tim was still angry about the way Sarah had behaved, he wasn’t ready to give up just yet. He gave her an ultimatum: they had to go to couple’s counseling to try and work things out.
Sarah, sensing that he meant it, agreed. But, because they were still together, Grandma Jill got her revenge.
Renewing Their Vows
Tim’s parents had a beautiful ceremony at Sarah’s dream venue. They were served the food Sarah had insisted on, cut her cake, and even re- invited all of Tim’s extended family – including the children and older relatives.
Sarah could only sit and watch and try not to let her jealousy show, but Grandma Jill knew she was getting exactly what she deserved.
Life Of The Party
At the reception, Grandma Jill delivered a heartwarming speech to Tim’s parents – full of humor and wisdom, it was undoubtedly the best speech that night.
And, to Sarah’s annoyed surprise, she turned out to be the life of the party. She organized games for the kids before hitting the dancefloor – and then she outdanced everyone there!
Reconsidering The Relationship
Tim was hurt that Sarah had been so self-centered and had refused to consider what mattered to him, but he hoped that she’d realize the error of her ways.
But his friends and family told him that the way she had behaved was a huge red flag. If she didn’t care about his family now, were they really even compatible?
Unfortunately, Sarah’s behavior before her wedding is not uncommon. The “Bridezilla” phenomenon is well-documented among brides-to-be, and there’s a reason for it.
The emotional pressure of starting a new life and planning a wedding can make even the most mild-mannered woman become a monster overnight. This is usually due to unreal expectations.
Brides usually feel anxious about the things they will have to manage in married life – like moving in with their husband, sharing a home, and taking on more responsibilities.
And, on top of all these pressure points, a bride also has to deal with the expectations of her parents and in-laws and their demands as well. Was this the case with Sarah?
Sarah’s in-laws made no demands about her wedding, and Tim only wanted the people he loved – specifically his grandmother – to share in his big day. It was not an unreasonable request.
Sarah had effectively tried to ban grandma from the wedding because she selfishly felt that Grandma Jill would become a burden and ruin her special day. Do you think her feelings were justified?