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So the honeymoon phase is over. You’ve been with your girlfriend or boyfriend for a year or more and the days of spontaneously sneaking off at lunch for a nooner are long gone. The candlelight dinners and surprise gifts are nowhere to be seen, and instead you two are lounging around in torn sweatpants every night eating leftover pizza, watching Seinfeld reruns, and burping. And then going to sleep. Sexy.
If this is your life, you need to toss the sweatpants, stop ordering nasty pizza and put some work into your relationship before you both turn into bored, lazy zombies! There’s no reason the romance should stop. Obviously you can’t sustain it all the time – unless you’re George Clooney. But most of us mere mortals can make a few adjustments to rev up our love life. Here are a few ideas.
5 Do Something Together
Do something together: Unless the two of you are inseparable and do everything together (which is kind of overkill) it can add a little fun back into your relationship if you do something together like taking a tango class, a cooking course, or getting SCUBA certified – whatever gets you both excited. Maybe you can plan a trip you’ve always talked about and taking SCUBA lessons is your way to finally make it happen. Picking something you can do together that’s different and fun can shake things up and give you something to talk about besides what you want to watch on TV.
4 Surprise Each Other
Surprise each other: Again, this one kind of falls by the wayside after you’ve been with someone for a while. Your motivation to impress each other kind of disappears somewhere and you’re pretty comfy and set in your ways. A surprise doesn’t have to be a blue Tiffany’s box with a diamond bracelet in it (although more power to you if it is), it can be a secret home cooked meal or a book or a dinner out with friends. It shows that you care enough to take the time, which is important.
Communicate: Yep, that’s right. Talk to each other. Maybe it doesn’t seem as sexy and amazing as having a Frank Ocean orgy, but it’s important too. After you’re in a relationship for a while you sometimes slip into that comfort zone where you just don’t really talk. You maybe grunt at each other here and there or vaguely talk about your day – but really talk like you used to when you were getting to know each other. You might just learn something new.
2 Get Naked
Get naked: Stop falling asleep in front of the TV, ok? Sure you might be tired and you’ve slept with this person a thousand times, but intimacy is a super important part of a relationship, so don’t forget that. Get some sexy lingerie or fancy boxer briefs or whatever, make a night of making out. Turn off the TV and play some Frank Ocean, give each other massages or read 50 Shades of Grey if you have to. Just get naked!
1 Plan a Date
Plan a date: Maybe you live together, or you’re so used to seeing each other that asking, “What do you want, Burger King or In and out?” is your idea of planning a fun night together. Get out of your rut and stop being lazy! Plan something new and different to do together. Go to a museum, have a picnic, cook a steak dinner and light candles – it’s up to you, but make it happen. Get out of your comfort zone and plan an actual, get dressed and put on makeup date.