5 A Total Lack of Taste
Legendary guitarist and singer Jimi Hendrix died at age 27 after choking on his own vomit following a drinking and drug binge. So it was appropriate that outrage met the tasteless 2009 release of Hendrix Electric Vodka, a brand baring the singer’s likeness. The spirit’s maker was quickly ordered to cease selling the product on the grounds that they had no rights to Hendrix’s likeness, but we would also have accepted a ban based on overwhelming myopia.
4 Doling it Out
Many Americans will remember the commercial former Senator and presidential candidate (and WWII veteran) Robert J. Dole acted in promoting Pepsi. Others will also recall the accomplished commentator and writer’s spots for Viagra. But did you know that Dole also appeared in commercials for Visa and Dunkin’ Donuts? He has also appeared on SNL and The Daily Show, to name a few. The man is no mere politician; he’s a media sensation, dammit!
3 Die Hard… the Fragrance?
We love Bruce Willis as much as the next person, ok? The perennially aging, always-awesome guy is the definition of an action movie hero. But we do not see the need to smell like Mr. Willis. In fact, judging by how he looks at the conclusion of most of his films, his we assume smelling quite unlike him is to be desired. Nonetheless, Willis and the European company LR launched a brand of cologne a few years back. It probably smells like sweat and gunpowder.
2 Irony So Thick It’s Like An Iron Curtain
Mikhail Gorbachev was the last premier of the Soviet Union before its final crack up in the early 1990s. Though always considered moderate, recall that this man was indeed the onetime leader of a massive communist empire. And now he is doing print advertisement for luxury brand Louis Vuitton. If that’s not irony, then irony does not even exist.
1 A Visual Representation of Insanity
In perhaps the most famous, strangest celebrity endorsement spot known to man, Arnold Schwarzenegger promotes a Japanese vitamin beverage called Vfuyy. The spot involves several men who are much smaller than the world-renowned body-builder casually approaching Arnold and his ostensible girlfriend. Schwarzenegger screams in fear and takes shelter in an alley, then sips the beverage. Immediately his eyes flash strangely and a terrifying grin is plastered on his face as he becomes some elaborately dressed demigod-like figure who can now levitate his adversaries. It’s weird.