5 Admirable Traits in a Murder Conspirator

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Let’s be honest, these days marriages don’t always work out. These are complicated times in which a relationship going sour has become pretty commonplace. What isn’t as common though, is when someone decides to void his or her nuptials by having the other person killed.

Julia Merfeld, a 21-year-old from Michigan, elected to take the road less travelled when she asked a hitman to do away with her husband in hopes of cashing in on his life insurance policy. Video has surfaced of Julia hiring a man who turned out to be an undercover detective, in what can only be referred to as an astonishingly matter-of-fact interaction. But if there’s one thing you have to admire in someone who’s plotting your demise, it’s that they keep their wits about them.

5 Practicality

When speaking to the man she was hoping would snuff the life out of her husband, Julia felt it was important that he knew this was really all just a question of convenience: “When I first decided to do this” she explains, “It’s not that we weren’t getting along. But… terrible as it sounds, it was easier than divorcing him. You know, I didn’t have to worry about the judgment of my family.” That is of course, unless they find out YOU HAD HIM MURDERED. In which case, they might get a little judge-y.

4 Empathy

Julia also maintained that one of her biggest reasons for doing it was that she “didn’t have to worry about breaking his heart.” Which is true, since one of the nicer side effects of stopping someone’s heart is that you don’t have to concern yourself with their emotional fallout. She also wanted, if possible, to make the death quick and easy, because hey, she kind of feels bad for the guy. When asked if she preferred a knife or a gun, Julia points out how super-great it would be if he could “do it painlessly, like maybe breaking his neck.”

3 Cleanliness

Just because she’s paying to have her husband killed, doesn’t mean Julia Merfeld is cool with things literally getting dirty. She explains to the undercover cop that she’d really prefer that he shoot her husband outside, since otherwise it “would be messy in the house.” Which would be especially rough, because she has a friend she’s hoping will move in with her after “the incident.” And between “American Horror Story” and “Amityville,” we all know how difficult it can be convincing people to move into a murder-house.

2 Sense of Humor

When facing a difficult and awkward situation, one thing Julia Merfeld can proudly say is that she never lost her sense of humor. After all, what is life really worth if you can’t find a way to keep things lighthearted? Several times during her interactions with the hitman, Julia actually laughs, somehow finding it in her to remain cheery in the face of her husband’s unfortunate termination. She even wears a Batman hoodie to the second meeting, which was perhaps a high-concept gag playing on the irony of the Caped Crusader’s strict moral stance against killing.

1 Momentary Regret

Yes, she tried to pay a man fifty grand to show her husband to his permanent end, but Julia Merfeld is not a monster. There are clearly moments in their interactions when she questions if she’s doing the right thing, and seems unsure of whether or not she should even go through with it. Luckily, she eventually gets past it and forges ahead with the conviction of a woman who’s deciding whether or not she should treat herself to buying that special pair of shoes. But hey, at least she hesitated for a moment, however brief it may have been.

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