Beerology 101: 5 Uses for Beer Other Than Drinking

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There’s no need for me to prattle away here, extolling the virtues of beer as a superlative beverage. I could do that at length (you know that by now, dear beer reader). And as much as I would love to fritter off the hours discussing this piney hop aroma or that fine roasted malt and how it lingers on the tongue, today we are going to talk about things you can do with beer other than drinking it.
“Gasp!” you say? (Or rather do, as one doesn’t exactly say the word “gasp,” one tends to just go for it and gasp away.) Yes, my friends, our finest libation is good for so much more than pairing with a fine cut of prime rib or being guzzled in victory as the local sports club trounces their hated rivals! Beer, in fact, can be used in all sorts of wacky ways. What are they, you ask? Too many to cover today, sadly, but I’m going to drop five kernels of knowledge on you that should, for now, satisfy your hunger to know just what you can use beer for beyond the obvious (and delicious).

5 And Finally… Budweiser Fertilizer!

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Just as beer can help your confidence and self-esteem grow, so too can some suds help your fruits and vegetables grow, too! Sprinkling beer into soil – whether used for planting edible vegetables and fruits or blooming flowers alike – can provide valuable nutrients and minerals to the earth that will help plants grow. Especially encouraged if they are grain, wheat, or hops plants that will be used to make more beer!

4 Cleaner Metals Through Beer?

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Cleaner metals through beer? Indeed. (And it even sounds like a badass album title!) Using a little beer to scrub at tarnished, dirty metals such as copper, pewter, or brass may be just what the doctor ordered (this is, of course, assuming that your physician has taken an interest in both your physical health and the cleanliness of your metallic possessions). There is a light acidity to beers, especially IPAs and the like, that will help dissolve and break up tarnish stains and bits of dirt and other unpleasantness. A bit of scrubbing with beer and then some rinsing and drying and your old metal knickknacks will shine like new.

3 Kill the Slugs!

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When you’re not using beer to help your steed, use it to bait traps that will attract slugs, snails, and other unfriendly garden characters (insert tasteless joke about box car hobos here). The good thing about this use of beer? The cheaper the brew, the better. Slugs and college freshman – peas in a pod, right?

2 Get That Horse a Beer! For Its Health, of Course.

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Beer, it turns out, is good for the Mr. Eds and Black Beauties in your life in much the same way as it’s good for you – in moderation, and of fine quality. Dark, rich porters and stouts can help maintain healthy levels of iron in a horse’s body, and can provide lots of important vitamins, to boot. Beer may even help settle a horse’s stomach and lead to a healthier, shiner coat.

1 Beer Up That Do! That Hair Do, I Mean!

Yes, it’s a fact: beer is wonderful for your hair. Why? You see, all that grain and all those hops (and other ingredients for beers not cleaving to the Reinheitsgebot) used to make our favorite drink contain lots of nutrients your hair is only too happy to suck up as well. The Vitamin B so prevalent in most beers is great for enhancing the strength and elasticity of your locks, and the sugars in beer can even make your hair appear more lustrous and shiny! Shampoo, rinse, soak in beer, rinse, drink a beer, and repeat the last step all night long!

As if you needed a reason to love beer more, right? Well, nonetheless, now you have five of them. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and start drinking—I mean, gardening and getting healthier hair and catching slugs and such.

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