It’s not easy to tell your boyfriend that you’ve fallen out of love and no longer wish to see him. It’s even more difficult when you’re leaving a long-term relationship or moving out. In the words of lyricist Neil Sedaka, “breaking up is hard to do.”
5 In Person and Heart to Heart
You might feel you need a break—not necessarily permanent—from your significant other, but doesn’t mean you can have this conversation over the phone. Invite him over. Sit your guy down and have a straightforward conversation, explaining your reasons for needing a break. Come up with a length of time and be firm. You may want to write down your reasons beforehand, to better prepare yourself for this conversation. So long as you’re honest, things should go smoothly.
4 Moving Out
If you’re planning to move out and leave your boyfriend with the apartment, it may be a good idea to pack up and move out some things before having the break-up conversation. It’s best to break up someplace other than the home—in a public place, where outbursts are less likely. According to a survey by Rent.com, many couples continue to live together after breaking up. Unfortunately, lease agreements can result in a prolonged delay of separation. If you’re planning to break a lease, you’ll be responsible for the fees associated with this break. Otherwise, be prepared to stay in place until the lease ends.
3 Text Message
If you’re in a serious relationship, it’s not OK to break up via text message. But if you’re simply ending something after a one-night stand, this method is fine. You’re ending something that never really began, so it’s fine to let go in 160 characters. Depending on the response, a dialog may be opened. If the person receiving the text message wants a phone call or an in-person meeting, you might consider whether you’re comfortable with the request.
2 Over the Phone
It’s not recommended to break up over the phone, unless you’re in a long-distance relationship. New relationships can sometimes be ended over the phone, but only if you’ve been on just a couple dates. If you’ve consummated the relationship or live together, breaking up should happen in person. Breaking up over the phone leaves little room for argument. If you’re serious about ending the relationship, you won’t be persuaded by your boyfriend. Still, it’s important to listen to his side and allow him to make peace with your decision to end things.
1 Fast and In-Person
There’s no point in dragging it out. The relationship is over. You’ve made up your mind. Now it’s just a matter of telling him. Beforehand, write down your reasons for ending the relationship. Be succinct and to the point. This shouldn’t be a debate. Elly Prior, a BACP accredited couple’s counselor, recommends that you be clear about your reasons for breaking up. Get straight to the point and don’t beat around the bush. Have the conversation while walking through a small park. When the walk is over, so is your relationship.