The Trotsky to Facebook’s Lenin, Myspace has waned in popularity, due to its uninspiring security and programming issues. But we at Top 5 remember a glorious heyday: When everyone’s page was bright f*%!ing fuchsia and played the same Beyonce song over and over and over. Oh, and over. Perhaps, they gave people a little too much freedom — and the generic white of Facebook is a lot less offensive to the eyes. So, what does Myspace have going for it? Well, it’s become the premier outlet for musicians to interact directly with their audience. Sure, some strictly music websites will give you more tunage, but don’t really offer any insight into the personalities of the musicians.
Not sure your friends know how you really feel about spinach artichoke dip? Fret no more! Pinterest is set up like one of those elaborate cork boards you see in conspiracy movies — except instead of trying to decipher who “they” are, it shows your friends what you’re interested in. And, what’s more, if someone you know has a picture of something you like, you can “repin” it to let everyone else know you like it, too. (Two friends liking the same thing? Thanks, Internet!) Essentially, Pinterest is the “likes” section on Facebook on steroids and in a much prettier packaging. Oh, and way more addicting.
Extra! Extra! The front page of the internet is Reddit, where ideas and opinions come to be endorsed or dismissed. Yes, it’s like your newspaper, if your newspaper had a section on atheism and Advice Animals. Users (or “redditors,” tee-hee) can post both links and plain text articles, which other users vote up or down based on relevance. The freshest and most relevant posts constitute the front page of each reddit. One of the most fun sections is the AMA or “Ask Me Anything” section, which has featured guest redditors like Barack Obama, Zach Braff, and Ken Jennings. All we want to ask is, how did feel to get spanked by Watson? Ouch!
Wondering what Shaq is up to? Or Lady Gaga? Or Barack Obama? Well, you can follow their every movement on Twitter! Twitter revolutionized the social networking game with its streamlined approach — the website has a very conversational feel with relatively few bells and whistles. They also played to their strength by limiting Tweets to 140 characters, which is about the average attention span of anyone born in 1985 or afterward. And you don’t just have to follow interesting people… anyone can have a Twitter! Even your dull, uneducated friends! Sample Tweet: @uninterestingfriend91 I think if you had anything at all unique to say, somebody might care #ofcoursedonutsaretastyyoumoron #andnobodylikesHitlereither
In many ways, the most popular social network of our time might be the most memorable cultural event in our life times. Of course Facebook ripped off Myspace; but Facebook also perfected the idea of Internet socialization. And, indeed, it has everything you could want in a social networking site: peoples’ names, phone numbers, photographs, emails, and addresses. (It is ironic that you don’t have to leave your house to stalk someone any more, but (seriously) be careful folks!) Facebook even helped to skyrocket the popularity of other social networks like Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest. For its flexible (and ubiquitous) nature, Facebook will still top out our list for the foreseeable future.
Still not sure how to keep in touch with your friends? Well, its not a telephone call, or a game of touch football, or (shudder) a hug: the answer is staring into the emotionless glow of your computer and messaging your friends that you like them, will call them, should play football, and have heard of hugs. But if that doesn’t melt the frost off your icy heart, perhaps there’s no hope for you. You just have to complain about everything. Well, until someone invents “DisPintrest,” maybe you should just leave a comment below, about what networking site you think deserves a spot on our list.