While some folks enjoy exercise for exercise’s sake, most workouts are driven by more primal urges: making the exercisers attractive enough to be sexually viable and improving health to stave off death and decrepitude. Those urges are powerful enough to endure looking severely foolish, as evidenced by these ridiculous exercise trends.
5 Horse Riding Fitness Ace Power
Just when people were recovering from the pain in their side caused by laughing at the Shake Weight video, a South Korean company unveiled Horse Riding Fitness Ace Power. The apparatus is basically a bicycle seat on two legs which splay out and in as you move your pelvis up and down. This supposedly mimics riding a horse. The infomercials feature a series of close-ups of gyrating male and female groins.
4 Shake Weight
This oscillating dumbbell shot to fame not for its effectiveness but for the (accidental?) suggestiveness of its sales video. The women demonstrating its use—clad in scanty exercise gear—appeared to be giving the weights hand jobs. After the “Saturday Night Live” spoof of the infomercial, could anybody take the Shake Weight seriously?
3 Face Trainer
This gear looks like an athletic manifestation of burka headgear. It claims to resistance train your sagging facial muscles. Wear the face trainer on your head and neck for 10 minutes a day while you do a series of bizarre looking facial exercises, and the manufacturer claims you will tone 44 muscles in your face and neck. The idea is that when you build your facial muscles, your face fills from the inside out, rather than the outside in, as happens with injectable fillers. Participants in clinical trials claimed that their crow’s feet faded. To what ridiculous-looking lengths will you go to reclaim your youth?
2 Electric Ab Belt
A lazy person’s dream, the electric ab belt uses electrical stimulation to make your muscles contract, thereby strengthening them. Physical therapists have long used this electrical stimulation principle to help people recover muscle strength. But if you’re capable of doing some crunches and planks, get off your butt and do so rather than stimulating yourself electrically for half an hour a day. While the belt can strengthen your abs, it won’t do anything about your fat and is not going to give you a six pack.
1 Hawaii Chair
Wouldn’t it be great to exercise without having to get out of your chair? That’s what inspired the creators of Hawaii Chair to bring this loser to the market. In an insult to hula dancers everywhere, this chair is named for its hula motor. Recommended for office use, the base of the chair swivels while you call clients on the phone or type on the computer. It’s supposed to work your abs. Motion sickness is the more likely result.