5 Kimora Lee
Russell Simmons’ ex-wife looks like she’s the happiest girl in the world in her mug shot. What’s up with that? She was arrested in 2004 for possession of marijuana (maybe that explains the big grin), eluding police, and reckless driving but you’d think she was at her junior prom or something. She’s posing all sexy in a cutoff T-shirt and jeans with a little ponytail – kind of like a defiant teenager. She looks pretty proud of herself – I’m sure her parents were too.
4 Paris Hilton
This one is mainly funny because it’s kind of a treat to see Paris Hilton in a mug shot instead of vamping in a bikini with little white dogs and jewels or partying on top of an Ibiza bar. She spent twenty-three days in jail for a 2007 DUI charge (poor baby) and in her photo she looks as vacant and clueless as ever. She has a little smile and some pink lipstick – basically she looks like a prom queen gone bad. I’m pretty sure she has a hairpiece stuck on top of her head too – tres chic!
3 Hugh Grant
Unlike Khloe, Hugh Grant looks straight up guilty in his 1995 mug shot. He was booked for conducting lewd conduct in a public place and soliciting a prostitute – oops! He was dating Elizabeth Hurley at the time too. It looks like he’s got his hands in his pockets and he’s kind of shrugging in a “I’m in so much trouble” way, like a little kid that just got caught cheating. It’s pretty funny.
2 Khloe Kardashian
OK this one is awesome mainly because it’s a Kardashian mug shot, which makes you wish they could all be posing for mug shots and tossed behind bars for good so we don’t have to listen to them speak. Khloe didn’t finish her DUI community service (too busy shopping?) so she spent 183 minutes in jail. Poor cellmates. The picture is also funny because she’s doing a sexy sort of look, like she thinks she’s posing for a perfume ad instead of for the LAPD. Nice work.
1 Nick Nolte
Nolte got a DUI in 2002 and the photo is a doozy. He looks like Freddy Krueger at a Sandals resort in his craptastic blue, yellow, and pink Hawaiian shirt, and his matted hair is sticking out like a man newly electrocuted. At least he’s not smiling. He actually looks pretty creepy (hence the Freddy Krueger), in a funny kind of way. He’s an awesome actor (if you didn’t see him in Warrior last year – watch it!) so here’s hoping he’s not posing for the cops anytime soon.