5 Aerosmith – Crazy
From the very start of Aerosmith’s video for their hit 1994 song Crazy, you know that things are going to work out pretty well: the first thing we see are the legs of a young lady wearing a traditional “Catholic schoolgirl outfit.” Within a minute, we have indeed watched two “schoolgirls” stripping off much of their attire as they hit the road for a sexy adventure, and said girls are played by Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler. Who can forget the leather pants in the gas station? The impromptu strip club routine? Or that guy picking his nose for some reason?
4 Shakira – She Wolf
We did not know human hips could do what they apparently can when those hips belong to Colombian beauty Shakira. Her body appears to be largely made of water merely poured into the shape of a stunning, curvaceous female. Basically, this woman’s joints don’t follow the rules prescribed to the rest of us. And that nude colored, skintight suit she wears while dancing around in a cage doesn’t exactly bother us, to be honest.
3 Benny Benassi – Satisfaction
If you love power tools and beautiful, scantily clad women, then this music video stands at that very rare intersection you previously occupied alone. What fun for you! Indeed the whole two and a half minute video is nothing more than lusty ladies using tools and singing the song’s few repeated phrases, with occasional descriptions of the tools being used superimposed on the screen. Here’s a hint: the video is more about the women than the machinery. If you actually want to learn about belt sanders or dual action saws, head to Sears or the Home Depot.
2 Christina Aguilera – Not Myself Tonight
If you don’t mind potential nightmares accompanying your sexual arousal, then this decidedly strange but undeniably sexy video is the one for you! It features a bevy of fetishistic outfits, bisexual innuendo and plenty of skin. Aguilera dances around in everything from leather to lingerie while making it clear that she is “Not the same girl tonight.” The only real problem with this music video is the “music” to which it is set.
1 Eric Prydz – Call on Me
Why is this video in the number one spot for the sexiest video of all time? Because you couldn’t get much closer to an adult film without, y’know, just making an adult film. It is essentially nothing more than three minutes of scantily clad, fit women doing pelvic thrusts. And we don’t say “nothing more” in the pejorative sense, for the record. The song couldn’t be much simpler: the lyrics are the title, repeated over and over again, occasionally with the refrain “I’m the same boy I used to be” added in. Simple and repetitive, yes… but strangely, no one seems to mind.
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