Splash No More: 5 Reasons Kendra Wilkinson Quit Splash

Image credit: Wikipedia
If you haven’t seen an episode of Splash yet, you’re missing out on what has to be one of the strangest reality shows in TV history. Essentially, what happened was someone sat down and pitched the idea of making low-level celebrities compete in a high dive competition, and someone at ABC actually said, “Yeah, let’s do that.” Each week on the show, contestants are voted off based on performance, but last night was a little different. When it came time for former Playboy Playmate and reality TV star Kendra Wilkinson’s turn, she decided that not only could she not dive, but that she was quitting the show. So what was behind Kendra’s sudden change of heart?

5 Implant Safety

It’s a well-known fact that Kendra’s bust line has been slightly enhanced. Which is fine, this is not a criticism of breast augmentation. In fact, those puppies probably increase her buoyancy quite a bit in the swimming pool. However, it’s very possible that an unintentional belly flop from 30-feet up could do some real damage to those things. Once she became aware of that, it was only a matter of time before she bailed out. Kendra knows you don’t mess with the money-makers.

4 Louie Anderson

Look, Louie Anderson seems like a perfectly pleasant fellow. He’s funny and engaging and seems to get along with everyone. But let’s be honest, it isn’t easy watching him stuff himself into that full body swimsuit, slowly ascend the platform steps, then plummet into the water with all the grace of a sack of concrete. If Kendra is the kind of person who gets uncomfortable watching someone do something embarrassing, this must have been her Vietnam. Even after leaving, she could be dealing with flashbacks for years to come.

3 Ignorance

Kendra is a lot of things. She’s beautiful. She’s loud. She’s fun-loving. However, most people would not describe her as the brightest bulb in the set. It seems like a real possibility that Kendra didn’t actually become aware of exactly what the show entailed until she was already several weeks in. Maybe upon realizing that a high-dive competition was named for the height at which you jump and not for the fact that you get to smoke a bunch of weed before doing it, she decided it just wasn’t for her.

2 Joey Lawrence’s “Hair”

Splash is hosted by former child “star” Joey Lawrence, who is known for his role as the dimwitted brother with the perfect hair on Blossom. And if you’ve seen him on Splash, then you know it’s entirely possible that Kendra quit because she just couldn’t stand to be around him anymore. Not only is Joey an irritating host, but his “hair” now looks like a painted on latex shell that’s meant to cover what is probably a tragically receding hairline. It’s understandable why anyone would want to avoid being around this strange, hair-helmeted, little man.

1 Fear of Heights

In her explanation of why she was bailing on the show, a clearly rattled Kendra attributed it to her crippling fear of heights. It seems like a perfectly logical explanation, if you ignore the fact that she had already done it countless times in practice and even in competition. Plus, this is a woman that willingly dove into bed with Hugh Hefner, a man 59 years her senior. One would think that if she could engage in sexual relations with a guy whose naked body must look like a worn set of skin-colored drapes, fear just wouldn’t be an issue for her.
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