Behold: 5 Invaluable Pieces of Relationship Advice from Comedians

Comedians tend to be a little cynical about life, love, work, and humanity in general. But that’s just an act — usually. Really, they’re normal people who just have the crazy impulse to stand all alone on a stage and try to make people laugh – no wonder some of them are bonkers. Some of the best comedians love to talk about love. Have you seen Louis C.K.’s standup routines when he’s talking about marriage? Or his hilarious show, where he’s braving the world as a single divorced dad?
If you think about it, comedians have some very true and very important relationship advice for the rest of us. Maybe it’s a little cynical, but they mean well. Let’s take a peek at what we can learn from these five people about love.

5 Mae West

“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”

Mae West was a wise lady. She had some hilarious quotes during her career, and this one’s no different. You don’t need a ton of money to be happy of course and you better love your partner in good times and bad, but love does not conquer poverty. It conquers a lot of other things though.

4 Chris Rock

“If you haven’t contemplated murder, you ain’t been in love.”

This one sounds negative and cynical but it’s not! Love isn’t all roses and googly eyes. Sometimes you drive each other crazy, you get annoyed or mad – it happens. If you can take the good with the bad (like wanted to metaphorically murder them) then that’s a healthy relationship. Nobody is perfect right? It’s OK to drive each other a little nuts, sometimes.

3 Jerry Seinfeld

“What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked.”

Well hopefully the whole first date doesn’t feel like an interview — that’s when you call it a night early. If the chemistry isn’t there and you’re feeling like you’re being interrogated by a CEO, walk away. But dates are a kind of interview. Who are you, what do you like, why should I hire you? Maybe it’s the “naked” part that keeps us going.

2 Tina Fey

“You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.”

OK she’s talking about life in general and career in her book Bossypants but this gem applies to love and relationships too. You can’t sit around worrying that you’re not cool enough or hot enough – you have to ask them out. Make a move, say yes – go down the chute. If it doesn’t work out – go again.

1 Louis C.K.

“You sort of feel like you just got out of prison. And they give you the suit you were convicted in. And they give you a paper bag with a watch and a wallet in it. And they give you eight bucks and a bus ticket and the cars are going way too fast and you can’t cross the street…”

He’s talking about jumping into single life after a divorce, and this applies to a big breakup, too. It does sometimes feel like you’ve been tossed out of an institution and you can’t function in the real world with normal people. Ever feel that way? See – you’re not alone. Even if you feel like an alien among healthy people who are used to dates and first kisses, you’ll get better in time. It’s like a bike. You’ll forget you were ever in prison, eventually.

Let us know what you think – are these wise words or the musings of crazy comedians? Do you have any favorite funny quotes to share?

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