Without fail, each and every year, some young college stars make grave mistakes when choosing their wardrobe for what is, to this point, the biggest day of their lives. In spite of having plenty of access to mirrors, there are always a few guys who still insist on wearing something that they’ll someday look back on with more than a little regret.
Each and every year the NFL Draft guarantees to supply rabid NFL fans with one thing. And no, it isn’t the chance for a first look at some of their favorite team’s future stars. It’s the chance to see some of their favorite team’s future stars dressed in some of the most ridiculous clothes you’ll ever see.
Some, including Geno Smith himself, were shocked that the athletic West Virginia quarterback wasn’t drafted in the first round. Critics say it’s due to Smith’s lack of refinement as a QB, but it’s also very possible that every interested team was just turned off when they saw Geno rocking an over-the-tie necklace. Smith said he purchased the gold angel necklace in honor of his late grandmother, which is sweet. But it’s safe to say even grandma would’ve told him not to wear it outside his shirt. Even the guy behind him in the Steve Harvey-esque pimp suit thinks it’s ridiculous.
Just call West Virginia wide receiver Tavon Austin “Ron Burgundy,” because the dude went all maroon on draft day. Taken 8th overall by the St. Louis Rams, Austin’s all merlot outfit was inspired by either Will Ferrell’s famous 70s newscaster, or a hotel bellhop. In either case, he could’ve benefitted by maybe wearing just ONE other color at all. On the bright side though, he now has something to wear on stage should he ever decide to form a four-man doo-wop ensemble.
For the sake of his financial future, we hope Missouri defensive end Sheldon Richardson was loaned the jewelry he rocked at the draft. Picked 13th overall by the New York Jets, Richardson came to the stage sporting a massive diamond-studded bracelet and watch combo that was likely worth more than Mark Sanchez’s next NFL contract. One thing that bodes well for the Jets though, is that Richardson was keeping in shape the entire night by curling a metric ton each and every time he lifted his arms to flash his bling.
A talented wide receiver out of Tennessee, Patterson fell all the way to the 29th pick. Some say it’s due to his off-the-field issues, but it might also be due to legitimate concerns with his vision. Just look at the ensemble this guy put together, it’s like he wanted to make sure each individual piece of his outfit was the worst in its respective category. A bowtie. Suspenders. A rainbow colored Louis Vuitton belt (yes, he wore suspenders AND a belt). And what appears to be a white smoking jacket. Wow. Just… wow.
With the fifth overall pick in the draft, the Detroit Lions took defensive end Ziggy Ansah out of BYU. Overall, Ansah did well with his outfit, donning a classic suit and pocket square. But wait, what the hell are those things on his face? Not only did Ansah jump on the bandwagon of the awful lensless glasses trend (thanks for that, everyone in the NBA), but he took it a step further… they were actually a pair of movie theater Real-D 3D glasses. And not unlike most every 3D movie, they were completely unnecessary and kind of made everyone nauseous.