5 Things That Are Irrefutably Better Than Sex

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You might find it hard to believe that anything could actually be better than a passionate romp in the hay, but think outside the box. After reviewing this list of top sex-replacers, you just might find that for the first time in a long time, sex isn’t on your mind.

5 Paying Off Your House

While sitting down to pay the bills, you rip out one earmarked check, fill it out and get it in the mail. Just like that, years of monthly mortgage payments are over. Tomorrow, at this exact same time when you get home from work, you’ll be opening the doors to a home that you own outright. Now you can use that extra income to save for your retirement, add on that master bathroom you’ve been day dreaming about or go on a long overdue vacation. After all, so few things are anywhere near as orgasmic as having complete financial stability.

4 Meeting Your Celebrity Crush

Everyone has a celebrity crush: George Clooney, Megan Fox, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston…the list is endless. This is the star you swoon over, fantasize about and the one who truly makes you weak in the knees. If you had the opportunity to bump into your celebrity pinup guy or girl, odds are you’d be at a loss for words. Getting a hug from your picture-perfect Mr. or Mrs. Right gives you the chance to rub up against your celeb crush. Just make sure you don’t drool—you want that moment to last as long as possible, so you can think about it for years to come.

3 Buying a New Car

After walking through the car lot you see a shiny gem that catches your attention. Open the door and that new car smell hits you smack in the face like a brick to the head. You gracefully run your fingers along the dashboard, realizing no one’s hands have ever been there before. No one else has hidden anything in the glove box or left a trail of crumbs and pet hair behind. This speedster is truly a virgin, touched for the very first time. That thrill and excitement of buying a brand-spanking-new car can set you off on a euphoric climax for weeks.

2 Getting a Promotion

Generally the more power you have in a company, the more money you’ll make. In 2011, the average salary of the CEOs working for the 500 biggest companies in the United States was $10.5 million, according to Forbes. Seeing those extra digits on your paycheck leaves you completely satisfied at the end of the week, leaving no need for a romp in the hay after all.

1 Winning the Lottery

Imagine if all your dreams could come true in the blink of an eye. You’re able to get everything you ever fantasized about—overnight. That’s the reality for the elite crew of lottery winners past. Back in 2012, for example, Cindy and Mark Hill of Camden Point, Mo., won a jackpot worth over half a billion dollars, U.S. News reports. Rather than racing out to buy new homes, cars or airplanes, the couple gave back to their community. They invested in a new fire station and baseball field. Nothing gives you that overall warm and tingly sensation quite like being able to help out your neighbors and loved ones.
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